Earlier in the week we reviewed some low-priced shrewd plays to help free up extra cash when you’re going ALL IN on the big dogs with the high floors and upside to win it all. Now is that time to discuss the all important top shelf guys and decide who will get their name etched into the Rodman Wanamaker Trophy at Quail Hollow. The margin for error is almost nonexistent if you hope to walk away from your contests with anything. Even worse, a missed cut from any of these guys all but ends your weekend before it even starts. All of a sudden Saturday night rolls around. You’re feeling left out; a subtle emptiness begins to consume you. Then it happens. DFS rock bottom. You buy in on Sunday’s Nascar contest. Let’s avoid that and sort out these matters like any mature adult would–by swiping. First we’ll make sure the Shimmer settings are correct:

Location: Charlotte, NC

Seeking: Premium golfers on Draft Kings

Age: legal

And just to clarify, that is Jason Dufner’s dog, Louie, celebrating Jason’s PGA Title back in 2013. Let’s swipe……

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Dustin 33, USA $11,400

Kind of over being on this thing. Not completely sure why I am lol. Absolutely no hookups, just want someone genuine to grab my butt and tell me I’m beautiful; Campfires are my jam. Work hard play harder. Netflix and chill….

Dustin, you’re still on here cause you’re the smoking hot crazy chick everyone wants to date for two weeks, but is afraid to substantially invest in. Ok, maybe that’s a bit unfair. After all… Since DJ’s final round 77 at The Open he’s played 8 rounds at 20 under par, and appears to be returning to form at the right time. Still, DJ’s not a cheap date and a floor of a top 20 finish is required to justify the investment. Oh man I hate these ones! I’ll need a couple glasses of wine to get through this swipe. Damn you Dustin. You’re tempting upside and rugged good looks are too much to pass up–Reluctant right.

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Rory 28, Northern Ireland $11,800

In Charlotte for an annual work event. Absolutely love all my visits here in the past. When I’m not killing it at work you’ll most likely find me killing it at the gym. Then ending my day chilling with an IPA (poet and didn’t even know it!) `_` What’s your current Netflix binge watch?

Ahhhh yes, the classic dating app gym selfie. Just the right combination of confidence, ego, and narcissism any major champion should have. I was a little tough on Mcilroy and put a hard swipe left on him before The Open. It was that exact moment Rory decided to swipe right on himself and took his former caddie’s advice and said “yeah, you’re right, I am Rory Effing Mcilroy”, and played 12 under par over his next eight rounds. His course history, current form, and last week’s driving display make Rory an overwhelming favorite coming into Quail Hollow. However, when you’re getting out birdied  by someone you’re consistently out-driving by 40 yards it suggests other parts of Mcilroy’s game aren’t finely tuned in the way that is needed to rip his 5th career major. The seemingly guaranteed floor of a top 15-20 finish is enough to go right, but ultimately I think an inconsistent wand will keep Rory from bringing home his 3rd Wanamaker. Soft right.

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Justin 37, England $9,000

I’m the good looking one on the left lol! Classy, sassy, and a bit smart assy. Ideal first date would be a fancy night out on the town but would also be open to netflix and chill. When I’m not throwing sass like it’s confetti I work full-time outdoors with my hands. Down for whatever…

What in the hell is with people and Netflix on this thing, and when did it become a verb? Anyway… Since his playoff loss to Sergio at Augusta, Rose’s game hasn’t quite been up to his usual standards. Four of six starts have been finishes outside the top 50 including one missed cut at the US Open. Normally “down for whatever” is an auto-right, but in this case “whatever” sounds like an early flight home. Left.

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Phil 47, USA $8,500

Hit the gym if you’re trying to avoid me. What can I say just a normal fun loving guy who likes to throw down on the occasional game of russian roulette before winding down for some chilling and netflix. Chubbier in person.

The few extra lbs and gambling I can handle to a degree. It’s the recent play and dwindling upside that throws up a caution flag with Mickelson. Lefty finally got back in the groove a little with a final round 3 under par at last week’s WGC Bridgestone Invitational. It was a good thing too because he played his prior 5 rounds at a smooth +15. It also needs to be considered that only one major has ever been won by a player over age 46, and that was in 1968. This is tough. Phil’s like the familiar ex that you know would be down for a weekend fling. But without the mystery and excitement of the unknown it just lacks the elements to provide the spark for something truly special. With guy’s like Paul Casey sitting at $7,800 it makes it more and more difficult to invest in the 47 year old. Left on Lefty.

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Jordan 23, USA $12,000

Do what I love and love what I do! Received a huge award at work last month. Want to be the very best at what I do. Work is very important to me. In my spare time I volunteer at kitten shelters, help the elderly cross streets and grocery shop, and do my neighborhood paper route pro bono. Oh, and netflix and chill too….

This is concerning. Is it weird if I don’t mention anything about hanging out and netflixing in my profile? I need to think about this… In order to protect myself I can’t allow Jordan to win this week. It’s against the laws of the universe for anyone to be this good, this likable, and this young. It’s simply too good to be true. Last time I found someone like this it was going along so great I finally started to understand what all this real relationship fuss was all about. Staying in became ideal to going out. Food tasted better. Doing dishes all of the sudden was a treat. And so many great Sundays spent together to end our week. Then this happened. I won’t be burnt again Jordan. Painful left.

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Rickie 28, USA $10,700

I was dropped into a pool as a baby….into a pool of SEXINESS that is! I need to find someone special so I don’t have any more photos like this one LOL! When I’m not netflix and chilling I’m shopping for my next fidget spinner.

I was just introduced to fidget spinners a few weeks ago. I haven’t decided if I’m more disgusted with mankind, or myself for not recognizing how dumb mankind is and coming up with the idea on my own. But I digress…. The Oklahoma St. product comes in to Charlotte ranked 10th in the world, 6th in FedEx Cup standings, and rocks a putter ranked first in strokes gained propelling the 4th highest birdies per round average on tour this year. I picked him to win The Open and he hasn’t done anything to scare me off–I’m standing by my man. Rickie gets his first major at Quail Hollow. And who am I kidding? I love to netflix and chill–RIGHT!

Good luck in Charlotte! Don’t forget to follow me on twitter and instagram at @realBobbyAdcock. And check out more golf here where fellow FFF writer Danny Madia provides his take on this week’s action for the 99th PGA Championship.

 

 

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